The Threw Ups

The Threw Ups

A few weeks ago, one of my tumblr friends, who has the user name hahathisurlistoolongtobepopular, told me she’d like me to promote her music on my tumblr blog. When I told her I could promote the music in my column in a real blog, she seemed really happy.

When I linked to YouTube, I learned that her musician name is Jenny Threwup and that she’s the force behind the musical act The Threw Ups, which I’d heard of. Threwup puts Daniel Johnson first on her list of influences. If you’ve listened to Johnson’s music or seen the documentary about him, you probably already have at least a rough idea what Jenny Threwup’s music is about.

Her music may also remind adventurous listeners of such outfits as Half Japanese or The Frogs. But I think her work is more carefully planned and organized than that; I’d say she sounds a bit more like The Roches did in their early days.

If none of these names means anything to you, I’ll try to give you a good idea what to expect in Threwup’s music. It often sounds like acoustic folk circa early Dylan; perhaps even a little like Appalachian music. One similarity to folk is that the lyrics of each song tell a story.

The way in which certain lines in the lyrics are repeated several times in a row introduce a bluesy element to the music. This is hardly chance. The fine cut "Little Instrumental" opens with some really big blues guitar riffs. (The guitar is acoustic, as it is on almost all the cuts.)

Threwup ends the song "Can't Complain" with a very funny-sounding short screech. "Uhyeah ah" is a real change-up, with its humorous title, its vocal chorus and its electric guitar, which has a pleasing super-dirty sound.

"Remember, Remember” has some lyrical rock riffs, as well as some impressive guitar work. This cut will certainly be the most accessible to listeners who aren't used to experimental music. "Shave Heads" has a hook that will be accessible to fans of both folk and mainstream rock.

There is lyrical overlap with acts like Daniel Johnston or Sparklehorse. One thing that means is that some good surreal language pops up from time to time. I especially liked this from “Give At All”: "When I jump the window, I jump through the door."

If you want to hear Jenny and The Threw Ups’ music, it’s easy and free. Just go to You Tube and search for Jenny Threwup. Each cut is less than two minutes long; some are half a minute. You can listen to the whole set in 15 minutes or so.

It’s fun, quirky, DIY music that delivers something that’s interesting but not overworked or overthought. (BTW, on Ryan Gosling’s recent album, he enforced a rule that if a song couldn’t be recorded by the third take, it got cut. Such Gosling lines as “my body’s a zombie for you” would fit right into a Threw Ups lyric.)

Jenny’s a resident of Germany. If you want to encourage her about her plans for an EP (and see some good art as well) check out her tumblr blog by searching for the user name above.

New Translation of Boethius

Big Questions Answered

A New Translation Of Boethius

The Consolation of Philosophy by Boethius

Edited and Translated by Scott Goins and Barbara Wyman. San Francisco: Ignatius Press, 2012. (Ignatius Critical Editions). 278 pages. $7.95

A Review By Brad Goins

Two Latin scholars have produced the latest translation of one of the masterpieces of Medieval thought. Like almost all Western books of the time, The Consolation of Philosophy was originally written in Latin. The brand new English translation is on shelves now. Before we delve into it, let’s take a brief look at the story of the book’s hero: Boethius.

Boethius came from a family of Roman leaders. He became a Roman consul in 510 and lived to see both his sons become consuls. It was the first time in more than a century that two or more people from the same family had been consul simultaneously.

Boethius served king Theodoric, one of the Goths who’d conquered Rome after invading from the north. Goths were usually considered barbarians by those Romans whose ancestral roots were in Rome. With his brutal violence and opportunistic behavior, Theodoric certainly lived down to the stereotype.

In the beginning of his great book, Boethius begins by making the claim that he’s the rarest of things: an honest politician. He says he went into politics “for the sake of keeping my conscience clean … I have preserved the law and never been afraid to offend the powerful … I risked myself by using my authority to protect the unfortunate, as they suffered countless attacks from the unchecked greed of the barbarians!” (page 17; note the not-so-little dig at Theodoric in the last word).

Boethius has reason to be angry — and frightened as well. Theodoric had charged Boethius with conspiracy and treason and had imprisoned him.

It was in prison that Boethius imagined he was being visited by Lady Philosophy. She was a personification of the philosophy that Boethius found so comforting before loss of power and harsh punishment left him in a state of anxiety that drove all philosophy from his mind. “Deprived of possessions, stripped of honors, and disgraced in the eyes of man, I have suffered punishment for doing good” (page 22), he says.

The Consolation of Philosophy is divided into four books (each about 40 pages long). In each book, Boethius asks Lady Philosophy to answer a big question that’s troubling him. His first big question can be phrased like this: Why have I suffered misfortune when I’ve tried to do good? From this big question follows a subsidiary question: Why do the wicked prosper? Another, smaller, question is perhaps good evidence of Boethius’ strained nerves and state of mind: “Shouldn’t fortune have been ashamed” for the way it’s treated him (19)?

At first, the shaken Boethius puts his questions in a loud and aggressive manner: “Fortune has raged against me” (16), he says, and he returns the favor.

Lady Philosophy slowly begins to calm him. She says he’s “dazed” (10) by his fortune. And though she promises to be gentle with him, she can’t resist a little tough love: “I can’t bear your childish self-indulgence,” she says (42).

Lady Philosophy As Therapist

At his point, Lady Philosophy begins a fairly elaborate psychological analysis of the suffering Boethius. She begins her diagnosis by directing to Boethius one of the book’s most famous lines: “You no longer know what you are” (28). She says, reasonably enough, that he is suffering from a “storm of passions” (26).

 “You are pulled about by conflicting feelings of pain, anger and sorrow … your wound … has hardened and grown scarred by the constant pricks of your anxieties,” she says (26).

This is the first time Lady Philosophy demonstrates her unerring ability to detect the role of anxiety in extreme human suffering. Just two pages later, she’ll say, “this is the nature of anxiety. It has the strength to make a man lose his footing, yet it can’t overthrow him completely” (28). Anxiety is strong enough to cause pain; not strong enough to stop thought, fixation or obsession.

Lady Philosophy elaborates on anxiety’s apparent ability to bring about a near paralysis of response and initiative. ”Every sudden change in circumstances seems to overcome a soul, almost like a flood” (31).

It’s not that Boethius is especially neurotic. Nor is he overreacting to any extreme degree. Anxiety is inescapable. “Man’s condition produces anxiety,” says Lady Philosophy (42). Although her analysis of the role of anxiety in human life and action precedes the analyses of anxiety by Kierkegaard and Freud by a millennium and a half, it’s thorough and realistic. It certainly anticipates modern ideas about anxiety.

As Lady Philosophy is aware of Boethius’ delicate condition, she tells him she’ll start with gentle philosophical cures for his condition. One home truth, though, that’s not all that gentle is a common sense conclusion that one wouldn’t necessarily have to be a philosopher to reach: “Don’t be surprised when we’re tossed about … when we ourselves have chosen to be displeasing to the wicked” (13). And if she’d said “wicked and powerful,” she wouldn’t have been wrong. Philosopher or not, she knows if you’re going to mess around with a brute such as Theodoric, you’ve got to expect something worse than a bark.

The Wheel Of Fortune

Book 2 continues Boethius’ notion that he’s somehow been betrayed by fortune. Gentle or no, Lady Philosophy is quick to tell Boethius that Fortune is essentially “fickle.” She says he’s foolish to rely on or expect fairness from fortune. Fortune has “endearing friendliness to those she tries to deceive … until she leaves them … and overwhelms them with unbearable pain … She … brings grief when she departs” (33).

The idea for which Boethius is certainly best known is that of the Wheel of Fortune. Unfortunately, in our time, this idea has been pretty much entirely associated with a game show. But in earlier centuries, the Wheel of Fortune was a powerful metaphor that represented the way in which people obtain good fortune only to lose it in a matter of a few years. It’s a little as if one is going up and down on a Ferris wheel that moves very slowly.

Lady Philosophy sees this approach to, and interpretation of, human life, as a sort of game. “This is the power, this is the game we always play,” she says. “We turn our wheel on its flying course; we delight in changing the low to the high and the high to the low. Rise up, if you wish, but on this condition: don’t consider yourself injured when you descend, as the rules of the game demand” (36).

Blessedness

In Book 3, Lady Philosophy moves toward the stronger philosophical medicine she promised Boethius. Since the earthly gifts of fortune don’t give lasting contentment, something else may. This source of contentment, it turns out, is “blessedness,” which, says Lady Philosophy, every human being seeks.

While the concept of blessedness may seem impossibly vague, Lady Philosophy does in fact say some surprisingly concrete things about it. For starters, it “is not anxious” — it is free of the human anxiety Philosophy has made so much of (67).

It is “a state that needs nothing belonging to anybody else, but rather is sufficient in itself” (67). It is “simple and indivisible” (82). It can be discerned by human reason. And it is God. “Reason shows that the Good is God,” says Philosophy. “God is blessedness itself” (91).

Some aspects of blessedness (its self-containment, indivisibility and simplicity) seem to this reader to give The Consolation a distinctly mystical flavor. It’s made all the more mystical (again, to this reader) when Boethius seems  to connect to the notion that “The kingdom of God is within you” (Luke 17:21). For instance, Lady Philosophy asks, “O mortals, why do you seek outside yourselves for the happiness that has been placed within you” (44)? And in a verse passage, she says “reason finds that what is labored for without / can be discovered — from a treasury within” (100).

Why Do The Evil Prosper?

Boethius’ big question in Book 4 is this: “If the ruler of the universe is in fact good, how can evil exist or go unpunished” (109)? Why are the wicked rewarded and the good punished? How can a good God be in charge of such a situation?

Some of Boethius’ philosophical arguments — such as the one that evil is nothing or doesn’t exist — may not seem especially compelling in our time. But Boethius is careful to make sure that all his arguments are logically consistent. For instance, he argues that “evil is nothing since the one who can do everything [that is, God] is unable to do it” (104). Such arguments can lead to very entertaining paradoxical statements, such as the following: “Now it might seem strange to say that evil men, who make up the majority of mankind, don’t exist, but this is the way the situation is” (115). It’s a delightful philosophical exercise to imagine that the person who seems to be standing next to you simply doesn’t exist.

What Boethius means when he asserts that evil doesn’t really exist is something like this: it is the nature of man to seek the highest good. And when something doesn’t follow its nature, it’s as if the thing isn’t really alive. A man who doesn’t seek the highest good isn’t really a man (Boethius argues).

As for the apparent prosperity of the wicked, providence provides hardships to those who will learn from them and keeps hardships from those who will be overwhelmed by them (137). Events “reward or test the good” and “punish or correct the bad” (141).

Again, all the arguments in this section are cogent and logically valid. It’s just that, with a little work, one can construct equally strong arguments in opposition. But that is true of any philosophical text worth reading.

Can People Have Free Will?

Although The Consolation of Philosophy is a work of philosophy, it’s one of the most accessible ones ever written. A person with no experience in philosophy can enjoy the book with little difficulty.

Having said that, I’ll note that book 5 presents a few passages that may be a bit tough for the absolute philosophical novice. But I suggest sticking with it to get to the moral and ethical advice that The Consolation offers in such an eloquent and comforting form.

In the fifth and final book, Boethius’ question is this: How can human beings have free will if God knows beforehand what will happen?

Although the answer is a little tricky, the gist is that for God, what’s called “foreknowledge” is simply seeing all things — past, present, future — happen as if they were happening in the present. We already know that the human mind can see things happen without at the same time making them happen. Why couldn’t God’s mind operate in the same way?

People want to make God unnecessarily complex, argues Lady Philosophy. They underestimate God’s simplicity, and in particular the simplicity of God’s mind, which “understands all things simply and considers them as if they were being done now” 169.

Again, it’s an argument that may not seem as attractive now as it did when it was made. But it’s well-reasoned and advanced. And I like the hint of mysticism that I (at least) find in the notion of the simplicity of God’s mind.

Lyricism

Boethius’ book is written partly in prose, partly in verse. Boethius is probably underrated as a Latin poet. At any rate, in this new translation, you’ll find plenty of extremely eloquent and moving lines. Enjoy these few:

Lady Philosophy says “ … night is poured on earth from above” (11).

She adds, “Death tumbles and tangles both lofty and humble” (59).

She tells the story of Orpheus in eight words: “Orpheus his own Eurydice / saw, lost and killed” (108).

And again, she turns to the stars: “From the star-filled shores of the sky / the discord of war is banished” (140).

Stoic Ethics

Boethius was the greatest practical moralist of the Medieval era. He wrote the sort of insightful and useful aphorisms about everyday ethics that had been written in classical Rome by Plutarch and Marcus Aurelius and that would be written after the Medieval era by the likes of Montaigne and La Rochefoucauld.

Boethius’ ethics are often right in step with the stoic ethics that dominated Rome for centuries. Stoicism was Rome’s secular religion. While it may not have had the force of law, it was so widely followed it might as well have.

The stoic influence in Boethius is impossible to miss. It’s there, for example, in Lady Philosophy’s early advice to Boethius: “Fear not, hope not” (15).

Interestingly, stoic discourses in ethics are fairly common in the verse in The Consolation. Consider these stoic precepts:

… to discern truth

with a clear light …

banish joy,

banish hope,

banish fear …

The mind is shackled

when these rule. 30

“… either sorrow exhausts, or / hope, fleeting, torments the captive” (118).

Practical Ethics

Here is just a taste of Boethius’ practical advice about ethics — advice that’s always easy on the ear and, more important, can be put to use in challenging situations in everyday life.

“You mustn’t waste away in your heart desiring to live by your own law, though you reside in a kingdom inhabited by all men” (Lady Philosophy, page 36).

“Don’t let thoughts weight your mind” (166, also Lady Philosophy).

Some lines are personal favorites. Consider this gem from book 5: “To learn about the things that delight me most will be like finding a place to rest” (Boethius, page 147).

And this: “Make sure we don’t do something completely illogical by following the opinion of the people” (142, Lady Philosophy).

Critical Edition

Keep in mind that this is a critical edition. If you read the many detailed and carefully prepared footnotes, it will be as if you are reading a second book: a book about the many figures who influenced or were influenced by Boethius. This illustrious list includes such names as Virgil, Ovid, St. Aquinas, St. Augustine, King Alfred (who translated The Consolation), Chaucer (who prepared a translation as well) and Dante.

Another facet of a critical edition is the selection of critical essays in the back of the book. Space limitations forbid me to do anything more than hit some highlights.

In the essay “The Ladder of Knowledge” by Mitchell Kalpakgian, the author provides a brief catalogue of the fascinating philosophical paradoxes in The Consolation: “Boethius [wonders at] the paradoxes that Philosophy  … presents to him: all luck is good luck; there is no such thing as chance; evil is nothing” (180).

The essay “Lady Philosophy as Physician” by Jeffrey S. Lehman makes a striking complement to Lady Philosophy’s evaluation of Boethius’ mental state. Lehman argues that Boethius “begins [the book] in a state of total passivity” (188).

Lehman also advances the interesting argument that Boethius advances from a (passive) poet to an (active) philosopher in the course of the book.

“Natural and Supernatural Responses to Suffering” by Rachel Lu is one of several essays that make the point that Boethius wrote The Consolation with “the realization that he personally was likely to face torture and execution in the very near future” (213).

It’s the same situation in “The Death of Boethius” by Regis Martin, who says Boethius faced “an absolute certainty of being tortured” (253).

Martin writes about the events leading up to this situation in a poignant way: “As we watch him perform at the top of his game, this brilliant and gifted young man, flush with power and wealth and every possible success, we suddenly see it all disastrously fall away” (253).

Lu’s essay also addresses the common argument that because Boethius never mentions Christ in the Consolation, the book’s God is not a Christian God. Lu argues: “the Consolation explores pagan philosophy in a way that seems targeted to underscore its harmony with Christian revelation. This is clearly not an anti-Christian work” (214).

This review offers a brief introduction to the latest translation of a great read and one of the best handbooks for everyday living that’s graced the planet. At a list price of $7.95, it is the publishing bargain of the year.

Stelly On The Great Reformer

I thought it was time to go for a while without writing anything about Louisiana politics. That was especially the case given all the giddiness about Gov. Bobby Jindal as a vice presidential candidate.

I thought there was even more giddiness nationwide than in the state until I saw the results of a late June CNN poll of 1,500 U.S. adults. Of these poll subjects, 43 percent said they had never heard of Jindal. On the up side, that's exactly the same percentage who said they'd never heard of Tim Pawlenty. Three cheers for the informed electorate, and for the three chairs that can accommodate it.

Jindal was getting at least some national attention. The Associated Press released a major story on July 15 that bore the headline “Gov. Jindal rehabs image by focusing on Louisiana.”

This story, which was run as the front page lead story one day in the American Press, maintained that Jindal was trying to rehabilitate his image in the country as a whole. It didn’t concern any kind of work on his image that he was doing in Louisiana.

The AP story, which was surprisingly thorough, seemed to say much of Jindal’s national clout comes from enthusiastic support by prominent conservatives. The article mentioned “repeated rounds of budget cuts to education and health care” in Louisiana during the Jindal administration, and pointed out that state “critics have complained about his deep cuts to state higher education funding.”

So, why did I write about state politics when I was determined not to? Well, the AP story quoted a local! In particular, the story quoted Moss Bluff politician Vic Stelly, who pretty strongly suggested that underneath his regal habiliments, the Great Reformer may not be so great and may not be a reformer.

"He's very self-serving," Stelly was quoted as saying. "All the so-called reforms, it'll be years down the road before we know if they amount to anything. I don't think they will."

The AP noted that Stelly had “recently resigned from the state's top higher education governing board over complaints about the Jindal administration's cuts to colleges.” Stelly’s pretty sharp. This time, he became one of the few in the state who resigned before Jindal had a chance to dump him.

And suppose Jindal does get a VP nod. Could I manage to see Jindal leave the state of Louisiana for 8 to 16 years? It would be hard. Very hard. The hardest thing I’ve ever done. But I believe I could manage it. And I can’t wait to see what he’d do to the national education system.

About Town

Boethius has come to be considered the greatest of the practical moral thinkers of the Medieval era. A new translation of Boethius’ key work, The Consolation of Philosophy, has just been published. And that’s important, because the translation is by my brother.

That’s right. The Consolation of Boethius, as edited and translated by Scott Goins and Barbara Wyman, was published by Ignatius Critical Editions just a couple of weeks ago.

I haven’t read it all yet, because when it came out, I was right in the middle of reading Charles Dickens’ Nicholas Nickleby, which is a powerful long book. But I’ve read enough of this new translation of Boethius to know that there are many footnotes to the text and they’re very thorough. Whenever one reads a classic that’s properly annotated, it’s just as if one were getting a new education. (And in this case, it’s an education that comes at a very low price; the Consolation is going for just $7.95 at Amazon.)

As you’ll have noted above, this is a critical edition. That means the text of the Consolation is complemented by six essays by Boethius scholars.

I’ll tell readers more about the book after I’ve spent some more time with it. But you may not want to wait. At $7.95, you’re not going to find a better book deal this year.

Scalise Doesn’t Miss Calls

I read the following headline on July 19 on the state news blog The Dead Pelican:

“Scalise fights back against President Obama's call for more big government ...”

When I clicked the link, I expected to see a video of Scalise speaking. But in fact, I was linked to a YouTube of President Obama giving a speech on the sidewalk in front of the E-Z-Livin' Smoke and Boudin Emporium in Wagon Rut.

Obama said, "I am calling for more big government. I'm actively calling for it. Government is big. But it's not big enough for me. I want it bigger. And I want it bigger now. I'm calling for it. Calling loud. Make it happen!"

At this point, a young man, shaved nearly bald, who was lounging on the sidewalk with a can of Steel Reserve, asked a question. "Mr. President,” he said. “Mr. President! What do you mean by ‘big government’? What is it?"

"Well, young man," said the president, "big government means that the government will send you a check every month, and a pretty big check at that. You can use that check for whatever you like, so as to free yourself up to lead whatever lifestyle will give you the most personal fulfillment."

“Far out, Mr. President," said the young man. "I'm not voting, but if I were voting, I'd definitely vote for you."

"Well, sir," said the president, "I'd suggest you register to vote if the new restrictive voter registration laws in your area allow you to. You should vote against the enemies of my new bigger government — enemies like Rep. Steve Scalise of the fearsome land of Metairie, La. He’s the worst of the bunch. He fights my new bigger government relentlessly, with all the unflagging tenacity of the mongoose attacking the snake or St. George attacking the dragon. He gives me the insomnia. He haunts my dreams. He inhabits my nightmares. He keeps sleep far from me. Vote against him, sir! Vote against him!”

At that point the video ended. In defense of the Dead Pelican, I'll point out that the headline it used was the exact same headline Scalise used for a video he posted on YouTube. Why a news blog would repeat a congressman's headline verbatim, I can't say, unless it's that The Dead Pelican is at least as conservative as Scalise and just liked the way the headline sounded. If only journalists could use headlines because they like the way they sound. If it worked that way, I could have used the headline “Mellow Greetings, Earth Man” for this story.

I don't know how these Louisiana politicians do when it comes to politics. But when it comes to self-promotion, nobody can beat them.

No Austerity For Me, Thanks

In mid-July, the Associate Press reported that austerity movements in Europe have reached the point that they’ve started to affect rich people. Here’s the evidence: In Spain, the king has been asked to reduce his salary by 7 percent. That’s right: 7 percent! That knocks him down to just $334,000 a year.

I remember when some gubment budget cutters told me to scale my salary back to $334,000. Brother, did I ever raise he1l. I threw dirty napkins on the floor, flipped rubber bands against the wall and said dirty words. They got the message. It’ll be a long time before some gubment bureaucrat tries to make me get austere again.

‘Whatsa Da Shape A Da World?’

In international news, Iraqis who had been told to go to Syria to flee the violence in Iraq were told to return to Iraq on the grounds that the violence in Syria had become more severe than the violence in Iraq.

Goins Revere

Here’s a passage from the transcript of Rush Limbaugh’s July 18 radio broadcast:

“This new movie, the Batman movie … Do you know the name of the villain in this movie? Bane. The villain in the Dark Knight Rises is named Bane. B-A-N-E. What is the name of the venture capital firm that Romney ran, and around which there's now this make-believe controversy? Bain …  Do you think that it is accidental that the name of the really vicious, fire-breathing, four-eyed, whatever-it-is villain in this movie is named Bane?”

Of course it is not accidental. I know because I documented the filmmakers’ conspiracy against Romney. I secretly recorded a conversation of the key filmmakers with my Eclipse Portable Media Player when I was on the set of the Batman film on April 1, 2011. Here’s the smoking gun transcript:

Director Christopher Nolan: “Lookit, I think if we’re going to have a realistic chance of doing that shot from behind the skyscraper set, we’re going to need at least a 30-ton crane, and I think we ought to get that lined up and knocked out now.”

Cinematographer Wally Pfister: “Well, I don’t see the point of doing that until we have a complete shooting schedule. Even at this point, I’m not really sure exactly what you want me to shoot. I think it would help me a lot if I could get at least a working shooting schedule.”

Nolan: “I think Andrew knows what the shooting schedule is. Can he put it together and email it to you or do you want him to text it?”

Set Dresser Ted Altman: “Excuse me. I’m really sorry to interrupt. But don’t you think the movie should have a villain with a name that makes a reference to Mitt Romney’s past?”

Nolan: “Oh, hell yes.”

Pfister: “Why didn’t I think of that?”

Nolan: “What should we call the villain?”

Pfister: “Yeah, forget about the shooting schedule. Let’s think of a name for this sucker.”

Altman: “Well, how about Bane? Only, we’ll spell it B-A-N-E. But, obviously, it’ll be a reference to Bain.”

Nolan: “That’s pretty damn smart. What’s your name again?”

Just for the record, the villain Bane appeared for the first time in a Batman comic book in 1993 and for the first time in a movie in 1997. I learned that by spending 30 seconds on the IntraWeb.

People thought at first that Limbaugh would back away from his accusation. No such. I emailed him my video of the secret conversation I’d filmed. That must have given him fresh inspiration, because on the next day, he said this on the radio:

“They're trying to make me look like an idiot. A tinfoil-hat conspiracy kook. When all I am is Rush Revere warning you in advance, ‘The Liberals Are Coming!’ I see them hit the trail before you do. And what you're gonna have to do is, if you don't admit it yet, you're gonna have to start admitting it. I'm always right about it.”

Well, I see them hitting the trail too. They look just like pixies hitting the gossamer trail to dream land.

We can all learn from Limbaugh’s second set of comments. Here’s the lesson. If you want any amount of political power whatsoever, you must remember that the best way to convince people you aren’t a conspiracy kook is to tell them you aren’t a conspiracy kook. Are you reading this Michele Bachmann?

News You Can Use

Never keep potatoes in a balloon for more than two weeks at a time.

Summer Of Whatever

Local band The Downhearted have just dropped their second CD, Summer of Whatever.

While I don’t think it’s quite right to call this a retro record, it does dip into a pretty long period of past popular music, giving nods to some of the more melodic punk masters, such as, maybe, the Replacements, and such post-punk melody makers as, perhaps, American Music Club or Smashing Pumpkins. The disc’s second track, “On The Borrowed Time,” sounds like ‘60s pop until you hear the Sonic Youth-style riff in the chorus.

“Clock You” begins with a beautiful, twangy guitar hook that would fit in pretty well on a Nick Lowe record. The instrumental bridge resembles ‘60s garage music of the MC5 variety.

“The Madness Test” (which has been released as a single) also starts off with a tasty hook, this time of the multi-instrumental variety. This hook goes right through the cut, sometimes in a delicate, quiet keyboard delivery.

“Burn Down” makes it three in a row that start with memorable hooks. This one is in the form of a crisp, lyrical post-punk electric guitar solo. The song has a second melodic hook in the instrumental bridge that follows the first chorus. The chorus line — “Our love, it will burn down” — reminds me a little of Joy Division, both in its lyrical content and sound. The whole song has a distinctly melancholy sweetness.

The closing cut, White Sangria, is a simple, short acoustic ballad that reminds me, in lyrics, melody and tone, of Donovan.

Lyrics throughout this CD are thoughtful and a bit complex (though without ever becoming burdensome or vague or too abstract). Consider these lines from “Exhausted Heart”:

What horrid nonsense,

This time I spend without you and apart.

What wasteful days.

Exalted love with exhausted heart.

They have the poetic sophistication of Morissey, but none of his sentimentality or hyperbole.

Most of the songs on Summer of Whatever are love songs. But they relate to the adult complications of love and stay far away from the “I love her and she loves me, la di da da di di di” content of most rock.

When Nirvana’s Nevermind album was so big, a friend told me, “What I like about it is the hooks.” 

That’s pretty close to the way I feel about this record. Half the cuts have hooks that will certainly move you. Get Summer of Whatever for a record that sounds a whole lot more interesting than most of what’s called alternative and independent these days.

The cover art is done by C. Delle Bates of Orange, Texas, who also did the art for the band’s earlier Animal Lisa EP.

Summer of Whatever was mixed and mastered by Matt Moss of EMF Productions in Lake Charles. It can be downloaded free on Louisianaindieradio.com and Lakecharles.com.

I Promise This Column Will Do Nothing

The reporters say Gov. Jindal is touring the country, campaigning against the Supreme Court’s decision about The Affordable Care Act. On July 4, Politico quoted Jindal as saying, “It seems to me like the president measures success by how many people are on food stamp rolls and government-run health care.”

Well, that’s hardly news to me. When I was growing up in the 1960s and 1970s, all my aunts and uncles and cousins in the country said those exact same things to me — hundreds of times. They even used the same phrases: phrases like “food stamp rolls.”

So I’ve known for half a century that the problems of the country are caused by the people on the food stamp rolls and government-run health care. Why do they cause the problems? They take money away from rich people!

When I was a little boy, my middle-class parents could afford to get me all the health care I needed – and then some. But now that I can’t afford health care, I guess I’ve become one of the people who’s causing all the problems and taking money from rich people. I just wish I could remember where I put the money.

Jindal did make one statement that was pretty clever: “Obamacare, it doesn’t do what the president promised.” Saying that something isn’t the way the president says it is … that’s not bad. But wouldn’t it be even better to provide three or four examples of concrete evidence that the president’s statements were false? Well, maybe for you and me. But for everyone? Naw. A single simple abstraction is much, much more easily remembered than a bunch of concrete evidence.

Want to be a successful politician? Make it simple and say it over and over.

The News

“Cops: Pa. man aims at groundhog, shoots friend’s toe.”

— CBS, July 4

The News Made Easy

“Behind America’s Anxiety Epidemic”

That’s the headline of a July 4 Atlantic Magazine story.

Just what is Behind America’s Anxiety Epidemic? As a journalist, I can answer that question in a simple, easy-to-understand manner. Americans don’t have any money. Next headline, please.

Zombies: 27 Percent Real

It’s been many a long year since I thought a headline such as “Poll Analyzes How Presidential Candidates Would Handle Alien Invasion” might be a joke. Although this headline was written for KFSM of Fort Smith, Ark., it apparently refers to a real poll that was conducted by National Geographic.

Two-thirds of those surveyed said Obama was more prepared than Romney to handle an alien invasion. But that’s neither here nor there. What made the impression on me were these words: “Americans … hold much more confidence in the existence of aliens than superheroes. The survey found 71 percent of Americans think aliens are more likely to exist than for there to ever be real-life superheroes, vampires and zombies.”

Once in a while, I have to find out the hard way just how out of touch I am with the society of which I am a part. I’ve been going along laboring under the misconception that not a single adult in the United States believes superheroes, vampires and zombies really exist or could ever exist.

But am I really so different from my peers? I thought about it. Do I think it’s really impossible that a superhero, like Iron Man, could exist and could create perpetual free energy by melting and recasting 2 ounces of metal whose name he made up? Well, I decided, not only is it possible, but it’s somewhat likely, if you think about it. It’s a reasonable thing for a guy to do. I’d give about two to three odds it really happened.

What about aliens? Of course, I don’t believe in aliens. That would be silly. But if you mean the aliens kept on Level 6 at Area 51 in the spectral disginenacubator between the Montgomery Ward Steam Cleaner and the Mountain Dew machine that still sells Mountain Dews for a quarter, well, of course I believe in THOSE aliens. I mean, they’re in the photo in the Gemstone File, right?

Zombies? I used to think it was farfetched that people who’ve been dead and decaying for some time could have teeth, jaws and muscles that are strong enough to bite through living, healthy flesh. But suppose the playing of Celine Dion songs at funerals releases an enzyme into the body that strengthens decaying flesh. It’s possible. I say there’s a 27 percent chance that it happens; which means there’s a 27 percent chance zombies are real. Yikes! Time to work on the cardio!

Furthermore, am I 100 percent sure that no mythical creatures at all exist? Of course, not. That would be nihilistic. I mulled it over, and made a list of mythical creatures, along with what I think is the percentage of likelihood they are real:

— unicorn: 2 percent

— the loch ness monster: 6 percent

— Joe Arpaio: 6 percent

— Pegasus: 8 percent

— flying triceratops: 18 percent

— Bat Boy: 29 percent

— John Shaft: 36 percent

— James Bond: 37 percent

— the Blair Witch: 38 percent

— men in black: 39 percent

— the little doll in the Saw movies who rides on a tricycle and says stuff: 46 percent

— Foghorn Leghorn: 49 percent.

When  I saw that National Geographic had conducted its pointless survey, I got a suspicion. “I bet,” I thought, “that National Geographic now has its own network. That means that National Geographic is no longer trying to please people who pay for its magazine; it’s trying to please high-school and college dropouts who pay for cable TV.”

I was right. Just check out the trash National Geographic throws on the air to entice the audience. A program called Chasing UFOs features a team of three people who, I suppose, chase bright shiny stuff in the sky. In “Teenage Love Huts” a father builds a little getaway where his daughters can meet their boyfriends. Another show is called “An Abduction Story.” An interactive website feature titled WHEN ALIENS ATTACK bears the warning Prepare for the Invasion!

I looked up a 1984 issue of National Geographic on eBay. The topics of that magazine were American waterfowl, Africa, Antarctica, chocolate, and Grenada. Not everyone liked National Geographic, of course. Some people thought it was boring. But as far as I could tell, everybody thought all the stories were about things that really existed. Nobody, as far as I know, thought Antarctica might be some made up place. As for the aliens living in the serpentine tunnels hidden under the ice on what was once the mighty island kingdom of Lemuria, they probably weren’t mentioned in 1984.

Person In The News

At a recent press conference, Brad Goins announced that the Brad Goins Vigor and Zest Academy Of Journalism And Cat Psychology will offer student vouchers for the upcoming academic year.

“Vouchers will be $2,000 per student,” said Goins. “Since the name of our LLC is Brad Goins, please make checks out to Brad Goins. Parents who pay in cash get a 10 percent discount.

“Our goal at the Vigor and Zest Academy is to take our students back to the fundamentals of a true American education. We aim to remind students of the traditional vital connection between cats and journalism and enable them to reconnect with their cats’ psychic hearts.”

When the Louisiana Department of Education was asked for comment, an anonymous spokesperson said, “I’ll have someone send the wagon.”

News You Can Use

Meat pies should never be worn on the sleeves.

The Music Man

When It Comes To ‘Old Time’ Louisiana Music, Ron Yule Has Played It, Promoted It, Built The Instruments And Written The Books

Ron Yule’s life has been an homage to old-fashioned country fiddle music. It’s the kind of music Yule is inclined to describe as “old-time” or “old-timey.” He puts it this way: “I love old time music so much, sometimes I think I may have been born 30 years too late.”

The music came into Louisiana by means of immigrants with European roots. In search of work, they came to the state with their fiddles in tow and their memories of the centuries-old fiddle tunes of their ancestors intact.

The music was performed in the houses and on the porches of rural Louisiana. It developed into Cajun, bluegrass — even swing. And in the face of modern changes that weren’t kind to traditional, acoustic music, it’s survived, albeit in a somewhat diminished form.

For decades, Yule has been preserving this music: by performing it, by building fiddles, by teaching others the crafts of performance and instrument-building and by organizing fiddle festivals.

And he’s undertaken one other big task:  he’s tried to document the history of the music he loves. To date he’s published five books on Louisiana country fiddle music, bluegrass.

Yule’s whole attitude toward old-time fiddle music has been reverent. But this reverence hasn’t saved him from conflict with religious institutions from time to time, which is perhaps to be expected, given that there was a time when many considered the fiddle the devil’s box. “I got fired from a gospel group because I told the guy I was going to play at honky tonks,” says Yule.

Still, he performed in a bluegrass gospel outfit, the Revelators, from 1978-1995. He’s no stranger to churches, having played the fiddle in church basements in his home state of Texas before he ever made it to his long-time home of DeRidder, La. Today, he hosts jam sessions at the Lutheran church fellowship hall in DeRidder, where the musicians play swing along with the old-time music.

And he jams with Eddie Richard, a priest at Our Lady of Prompt Succor Church in Sulphur, who’s been playing the banjo 25 years and has released his own bluegrass CDs. Yule’s known Richard since the 1970s — the decade when Yule first began playing with fiddler Lum Nichols and Clifford Blackmon and Blackmon’s wife Sue. Today, he still plays with the Blackmons and Richard.

These musicians and others play in a loosely affiliated group of as many as 15 people who usually perform under the name Medicare String Band. Yule says the “members have to be on Medicare or paying Medicare.”

They play most often at nursing homes. That’s a venue Yule has been frequenting since 1971. People at nursing homes “understand the music we play. We fill a void in their lives by coming and picking for them for an hour or so. When you play a nursing home, you may get no response from the patients, but if you can see a foot or big toe tapping to the music, it makes it all worthwhile.

“They like my kind of music — old fiddle tunes … [They relate] to it. When they were younger, that was the traditional rural folk music [they listened to].”

To this day, he likes to play what he’s always liked to play — “old country” music, avowing that “the most modern” country he might perform on stage would be a Merle Haggard song or two. “I like very little country and bluegrass music written after 1970.”

Early Musical History

It was in the coffee shops of Austin, where Yule was a University of Texas microbiology student, that he developed his love for old-time fiddle music in the 1960s. In those days, he listened to Aubrey Lowden, who played at the Broken Spoke and Skyline clubs. Yule spent time playing with such Austin bluegrass musicians as Doc Hamilton and Charlie Taylor.

Yule started off playing the guitar, which he enjoyed well enough. But he wanted to play some other instrument, and in particular, a fiddle or accordion, because each of his grandfathers had played those instruments. Yule went instrument shopping and the fiddle won out because it carried the lower price tag — $19.

He began playing that fiddle in 1968. He kept playing it when he went on to earn his master’s in microbiology from McNeese State University. (After graduation, he became a health inspector for the State of Louisiana — a position he held until 1999.)

After he settled in DeRidder in 1970, he played service clubs and “singles clubs” in that town. He remembers some of them as “pretty rough places.” He learned to be wary of one club goer in particular — a fellow who’d already had one ear ripped off in a fight and who “showed up just to fight.”

Yule played in numerous country and western bands in the 1970s and ‘80s, most often with Roy Burks and the Country Playboys and Buck Tyler and the Musicmasters.

Festivals

Yule entered his first fiddle contest in 1968 at the Old Settlers Park at Round Rock in Texas. Everybody — all 22 fiddlers — won first place.

A while later, Yule started bringing along a tape recorder to capture whatever musical sounds he could hear at the Beauregard Parish Fair Fiddle Contests.

In 1973, he began producing fiddle contests and promoting bluegrass shows throughout Louisiana and Southeast Texas. From 1974 to 1976, he and his wife Georgia founded the Southwest Louisiana Fiddler and Bluegrass Club. As Yule relates in his book Louisiana Bluegrass, the group’s major events were the annual Longville Lake festivals and the VFW #3619 fiddle contests.

Yule continues to promote shows, including the Beauregard Parish Fair contests, which have been going on since 1925. Yule’s run the contest since 1975. “I always seem to be able to bring them out of the woodwork,” he says. “This is [the result of] years of experience.”

Yule says that often, fiddle contests can have “a beauty pageant mentality.” As a result, “when it comes time to play, they’re nervous.” He likes to get contestants to the point that they’re “cold as ice” when they take the stage. A young student who went on to play French horn as an adult told Yule “I could do that because you got me up in front of people so I wasn’t nervous.”

Yule says the requirements for a good fiddle contest are good judges, a good PA system and one other thing — “You must make sure the losers show up.” You do this by offering small prizes for every performer, regardless of the quality of the performance.

Yule won the 2000 state fiddling championship. But he says that on a few occasions he’s never even made it to the stage. “I just enjoy playing. I don’t worry about winning.”

Fiddlin’

Yule has always been primarily concerned with “rural country fiddlers.”

“Playing the fiddle is all about listening,” he says. “You learn by ear.” The occasional fiddler who learned to read music would have been “violinin’” rather than “fiddlin’.”

“I used to ask all my students when they asked me to teach them the fiddle,  ‘Can you dance? And sing in tune?’ If you can’t keep rhythm and have good intonation, you’ll never make a fiddler.”

“Playin’ the fiddle is playin’ dance music — even if it’s gospel.  It has to have rhythm.”

In his book When the Fiddle Was King, Yule writes that the fiddler was “basically a player of dance music … When fiddle music gets beyond toe-tapping, rhythmic, danceable music, it becomes violinin’, or at least something else. Modern day fiddlers … must make the music danceable or it gets away from its country roots.”

Many of the musicians who shaped the music Yule loves were from families of Acadians who migrated from Nova Scotia in the 1700s. They brought the fiddle along because it was small and easily stowed away for migrations. Migrating families would readily have remembered the fiddle music of their French or British homelands. Rhythm was provided by country people who played with spoons, broom handles, tubs.

Yule believes Louisiana fiddlers are playing tunes that have been played since at least the 1700s. He cites such traditional tunes as “Soldier’s Joy” and

“Old Spinning Wheel.”

He says the fiddle developed from a bowed instrument the Europeans used in the 8^th or 9^th century, which eventually became the viol. The modern violin began around the 1500s. Yule can name early Italian violin makers right down to Stradivarius.

In 1973, Yule began repairing fiddles. Through the 1990s, he constructed and repaired not just fiddles, but also dulcimers, banjos and basses. “Nothing is any more exciting than stringing up an old fiddle that has laid dormant for years and listening to it take on a voice — a life of its own. Sorta waking it up,” says Yule. “I help anybody learn how to work on violins. Pass it on.”

Yule had been taking on a fiddle student here and there since the 1970s. But in the mid-1990s, he “began teaching fiddle on a large scale.” From his new, large group of pupils, he formed the popular Fiddlin’ Gals ensemble. Twelve of his students wound up being divisional champions at the state fiddle contest. One, Emily Young, won the Grand Championship in 2006.

In the popular imagination, it’s the musician’s prerogative to bellyache. Yule prefers a more stoic sort of fiddler. “When I play, I forget about any illness I have; any problems I have. When you’re playing, you’re not thinking about the ills of living or how much you hurt.” For some time now, Yule has dealt with the challenges of arthritis as he’s played.

Fiddlin’, says Yule, is “all about music … It’s all about getting together and having a good time. I never want this to be work.”

Bluegrass Odyssey

By the 1960s, writes Yule in his book Louisiana Fiddlers, “old-time and Louisiana country fiddlers … found a haven in … bluegrass music and the popular fiddle contests” in Louisiana. (We’ll discuss below the developments in 20^th century technology and entertainment that were drawing bluegrass away from its roots.) This development inspired Yule to undertake an odyssey in pursuit of the performance of bluegrass music in Louisiana.

He drove around in pickups, seeing as many bluegrass bands as he could. “I hardly slept at all. I picked with every obscure band.”

He remembers talking with Eddie Richard “about how bluegrass is dying.” Yule conjectured, “Maybe bluegrass has returned to the living room and the front porch, which is where it should have stayed.”